Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
