I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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