There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
