as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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