Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
