everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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