I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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