Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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