in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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