I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize