well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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