I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Drunk is a universal language darling
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize