i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
