My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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