did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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