evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
