i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
