If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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