I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
