made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
