dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
