She's JV to your varsity
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
