If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
