i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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