and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
