I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
