I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
