no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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