I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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