I hate your face
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
