Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
