I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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