Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success

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(915): View more from Texas

What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin

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(775): View more from Nevada

she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend

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(503): View more from Oregon

A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.

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(647): View more from Ontario

We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...

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(702): View more from Nevada

Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'

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(315): View more from New York

No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.

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