I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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