IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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