He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize