I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
