YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
