she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
