he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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