Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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