Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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