Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We talked him into tasing himself.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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