Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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