I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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