HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
