Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
