Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
