My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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