I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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