Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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