Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
