Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
