I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
